MediaSlutZA

I was approached in 2011 to be a contributor for the 2012 issue of SAX APPEAL (see my report here) and I felt honoured to have been asked, to say the least. 

Below is my contribution, as it was published on pages 80 and 81 of SAX APPEAL 2012. If you can’t read the text in the layouts below, the complete article is published below it. 

This is my first article/contribution of sorts, so please go softly on me :-)

A digital egg for Politicians…

In my pre-teen days, I hassled my parents until they bought me the Toy of The Devil (according to the NG Kerk, most churches and institutions):; the Tamagotchi. Dad was reluctant, but as Moms always do, they persuade Dad.

This simple and genius ‘digital egg’ was first sold in 1996; so if I remember correctly, I received mine in 1997 at the age of 12, straight from Toys R’ Us, to much excitement. 

What the Tamagotchi taught me (amongst a dozen other things) was that Mom had a reason when she forced it down our throats that we should ‘hou jou voël in sy hok’ (Loose translation: Keep your penis in your pants). Not everyone is right for this kind of responsibility. Not that I was running around trying to knock-up a small town girl, but this little toy egg taught me that I was sure as hell not ready to raise a child or look after the well-being of someone else. 

But I did try the best I possibly could for a 12 year old. I even went as far as to sneak it into school after the principal sent letters to all parents to inform them of The Evil in our midst. Belaglik. I felt like such a rebel! I’ve never bunked school, never started a fight… but I sneaked in my Tamagotchi. I wanted to keep an eye on my pet 24/7, much like our smartphones today…

On our way to our vacation house one weekend, 30 minutes into the drive, I realized that I had forgotten my Tamagotchi on my parents’ bedside table after watching Egoli. I begged and pleaded to Dad to please turn around. “Nee fok, dis net ‘n simpel speelding. Nee!” 

After many hysterical tears (from me) and yelling (from Mom), Dad turned back hesitantly. We arrived at home just in time for me to feed my cyber pet and let him live another day. 

Thinking back to this story, I realized that there are many people who are definitely not ready for children or for any responsibility like looking after another person’s well-being. People who I felt needed a Tamagotchi to teach them the basics first.

16-year-old ‘moms’ and ‘dads’ jump to mind. 

And politicians. 

I think it would be great if all new leaders could take a small test similar to the Tamagotchi-model, where they would be handed a, let’s call it ‘TamaPolitichi’, and would have to pass the Test first before they can take office. 

The TamaPolitichi could include a caricature from Mitchell’s Plain, one from Soweto and perhaps one from Sandton. 

The tasks that the Leader would have to complete to pass the Test would be simple activities, such as basic service delivery to Gatiep from Mitchell’s Plain, controlling a budget for the upgrade in the basic services delivered to Themba from Soweto and delivering on promises to correct the electricity billing problem Sarah has been having in Sandton. 

One of the tasks could be throwing a party for his/her friends/colleagues/comrades and keeping within a budget of between R200 – R500 per person. Like a wedding. Not a party where the money spent could have alternatively been used to build thousands of real brick houses for Themba and his neighbours. 

A multiple choice section should also form part of TamaPolitichi.  For example, if you have R1 000 000 to waste in travel, would you use it for:

• A: A private jet to fly to a conference that no one cares about.
• B: A Business Class ticket to the conference and use the remaining money for education bursaries or, even better, schools for the less fortunate, thus leaving a lasting legacy.
• C: A Business Class ticket to the conference and upgrade the roads and services in Soweto.

Just a few ideas I’m throwing around.

If the Leader passes the Test, I hope he or she would have learned the basics to be applied in the Real World…

I believe I passed the Test by caring enough for my simpel speelding, when I made Dad turn around. Much like how a non-corrupt leader should stand up and say something to change the course of this country. 

The sad thing was that the very next day, while swinging the keychain with the Tamagotchi around my finger, it went flying against the wall and onto the cement floor. So dood soos ’n mossie. 

This simpel speelding that broke and died made me cry as hard as if there was a real death in the family, and I felt I had failed in my responsibility. Yet, I knew I had done the best I could. 

If I had failed the TamaPolitichi-test, I wouldn’t have slept at night knowing I hadn’t delivered on my promises or that I could have done so much more with the money and opportunities entrusted in me in order to change other people’s lives.

It’s just in the basics.

- As published in SAX APPEAL 2012. Copyright: MediaSlutZA